"War Within"

She looks out among the people

The people who cannot see that she's trapped

She's trapped in her own mind

Her own mind which has betrayed her

Betrayed her into merely surviving

Merely surviving in which each breath is a struggle

A struggle she no longer wishes to fight

A fight she cannot possible win

Hiding behind literature.

Alright. This is my first blog and am unsure how this all works, but I am just going to say what's on my mind and go with it. I read…a lot..two or three books a day on top of going to school full time and working part time. I have several acquaintances, but very few friends. Recently one friend accused me of hiding behind literature because I am avoiding problems in my life. That may be true to an extent, but there are also other reasons. Every book you open the more knowledge you gain. That and for me books make believe in more they give me hope, and although that may be a naive thought is it really that bad? Is having just a shred of hope really that bad. And lets say I am using books just to escape this world is that so bad? I am not escaping to drugs or alcohol or self mutilation. I am using books and I believe that they have the power to heal me. I have so many thoughts go through my head that I barely sleep and usually have serious concentration  issues. But when I'm reading I can block out all those thoughts and focus solely on what I'm reading. And some days I need that or my thoughts would consume, so I turn to the only thing that I have found that can save me from my demons.